For those of us with EI (environmental illnesses), the holidays are especially brutal. What were once happy times surrounded by family and friends become increasingly isolating experiences. Depending on how bad off we are with things like fragrance sensitivity (which, next to fruit cake is the worst part about inviting Aunt Betty) or severe fatigue (where you just want to curl up into a ball under the dinner table), more and more we are faced with having to choose between trying to brave a family gathering only to end up sick in bed for weeks or convincing ourselves we will just stay home and write that novel.
In response to a heart-felt plea for help from one newly aware Canary who was torn between wanting to accommodate her family and fear of going overboard and getting sick, I wanted to reach out to her and give her some advice I wish someone had told me. This is more or less what I said:
This cluster of conditions that we call EI is an insidious one, for so many reasons. None of which are your fault. And understanding the underlying cruel irony of what is at play will help you really believe that. This is what I think you should keep in mind:
1: It is invisible so we are constantly having to “convince” people of its authenticity.
2: It puts us in the position of having to ask other people to help prevent us from getting sick, in other words, potentially putting them at an imposition which feels very awkward.
3: We long for the lives we had before we got sick. When we were “normal” and could move through the world with any level of anonymity we wanted just like everyone else.
4: We have to announce to the world our personal health information while bracing for the possibility that we will be ridiculed for it.
5: We never know when fragrance is going to jump out and hit us so we often hope for the best and maybe don’t say something as often as we should in the prayer that it won’t happen. But living on this kind of edge all the time is extremely stressful.