Risks are always a part of decision making....
More than anything, I want to help my child. So I said okay, we’ll try the meds.
The first prescription, an SSRI, increased his tics to a point where he could not speak. We switched to a second med, an ADHD stimulant, and the first day was like nothing I’ve ever seen. My son, on speed, could recall every detail of every lesson for the past year. It was awesome and eerie at the same time. The second day he cried for six hours straight and told me he wanted to go to sleep and not wake up.
The third try brings us to his counselor’s office, where he laid down, quietly, in the big, cozy chair. Jax, looking a little distant, excused himself to go the restroom.
The counselor spoke first. “The tension is gone. But so is his spark.”
Exactly. I told her, “the meds have kicked in, and he’s been like this for about a week.”
She paused and spoke carefully, without any judgment or bias.
“How important is the spark?”
It was a good question. A reasonable question. Even on the lowest dose, Jax was dull. He was like half-Jax, a shadow of my kid, a two-dimensional copy. But he was calm and more focused. He was easier to manage at school and at home. His frustration had decreased and his attention had increased. The medication did what it was supposed to do.
So really, how important is my son’s spark?