For several years, the professor and his wife, who has Parkinson’s disease, managed in their house in Cambridge, Mass. But two years ago, finding living on their own too difficult, they moved together into an assisted living facility.
The professor, retired from MIT, was in good health and didn’t need personal care. So I wondered: Why not move just his wife, whose mobility would deteriorate, and visit her regularly from his own home?
He sounded puzzled at the question. Live apart? “That never occurred to me,” he said. “She’s my wife.”
As is often the case, though, assisted living proved only a temporary solution. His wife developed intensifying dementia and needed more care than the facility could provide. In November, at 85, she moved to another facility in a neighboring town. The professor stayed behind in assisted living. Now 87, he is living alone for the first time in 55 years. (He asked that I protect her privacy by not identifying them further.)