Like most seniors, I’ve stashed away almost every penny I’ve ever earned and could buy and sell my children if I was so inclined (or if the law would allow it). But I’m careful not to spread that piece of information around.
Keep it in your pants
If your children think you have money they’ll either want to lock you up so they can get their filthy paws on it, or out of fear that you might spend it yourself. Either way – it’s best to keep up the pretence of comfortable impoverishment.
Don’t be flashing cash or boasting about the quarter million you have stuffed in your Sealy Posturepedic. Keep your diet, attire and mode of transportation understated. Nothing drives a young person battier than seeing their old parents buying expensive marmalade, brand name dentures or generally attempting to enjoy the money they worked 60 years to save.